Why I Didn’t Go To Church Today
Sorry I’ve been MIA for the last few days, folks. There’s been a lot of exciting, fun things happening in my life. I may not have won any of the categories I was nominated in for the Websters (but a HUGE THANKS to those who took the time to vote for me – and the winners totally deserved it!), but I was invited by FitFluential to attend an amazing event in NYC next month. It’s hosted by Fitness Magazine! I will join other FitFluential Ambassadors (including Heather, we are driving to the city together, YAY) at Fitness HQ, where we will get to meet editors and other staff, preview new products and fitness/nutrition trends, have a special lunch, try out a pop work-out class (um, RIGHT up my alley), and – best of all – learn about blogging from a panel of four ladies that I admire in a HUGE way!
- Kelly Olexa, CEO of Fitfluential
- Carla Binberg of MizFit Online
- Julie Fagan of Peanut Butter Fingers
- Tina Haupert of Carrots ‘n Cake
I will also get the chance to hang out with so many amazing bloggers that I have been wanting to meet for ages. I’ve been reading these blogs for almost three years, and meeting their authors is so important to me. I’m fangirling like mad right now, but I don’t care!
So as you can see, big things are happening for Cait Plus Ate! I am so thankful to you guys for sticking with me since I started this blog in September and being interested in what I have to say. Every moment like this seems more and more surreal and just makes me stop, take a deep breath, and feel extremely lucky.
That segways a bit into the title of this post, because I recall hearing a Sunday School teacher tell me when I was very young that there is no such thing as “luck”, because that implies something just happened by chance, when God is the one who determines everything that happens in our lives. I’ve always considered myself a Christian. After all, I celebrate all the holidays like Easter and Christmas. And by “celebrate”, I mean my family observes them in some way. I guess I can’t really say that I myself technically observe in a religious way, because I didn’t go to church this past Christmas Eve, and I didn’t go to church this morning. I actually left the house today to come blog at La Petite France right after the rest of my family left for church.
But why didn’t I go to church when my family asked me to join them? The answer is pretty simple – I didn’t want to. I didn’t think I’d get anything out of attending the service. I never have. I wonder sometimes if I should consider myself a Christian, because at times I feel like religion doesn’t play any role in my life at all. I’m not an Athiest, and I don’t even know if I’d call myself an Agnostic – that implies to me that I don’t care. Clearly I do, because every time I listen to a friend’s opinion on religion, whether it be one of deep spirituality or one of extreme atheism, I ponder my own views and wonder where religion fits in for me.
I’ve never gotten comfort out of a church service, a powerful sermon, a moment of prayer, or a Bible scripture. You know, your typical “church things”. Nothing like that has ever resonated with me. Instead, the things that resonate with me and provide comfort and a sense of purpose are, for example, my own accomplishments, a good deed a family member does for me, a moment when I feel like a friend understands EXACTLY what I mean before I even explain, or a particularly well-written passage from my latest pleasure read. The little things. And I know someone could turn around and say to me – well, God created those things and those moments. So you can find comfort in the fact that He created them for you.
But did He? I just don’t know if I buy it. Sometimes I wish that I could close my eyes, pray, and find strength in moments of weakness. But it just doesn’t work for me. Instead, I call my mom. I text my sister. I take a walk. I immerse myself in “the little things”.
So maybe “the little things” are my religion. I wonder about all this, but then I always end up taking a step back without answering my questions about what religion means to me, because the little things seem like enough. When times get rough, at least I know what makes me happy, and at least I know what gives me inner strength. It may not be God, or a church service, or a prayer, but at least I know what it is and can use the little things when I need them.
I was feeling particularly insightful today folks – blame it on the 1.5 hours of thinking I did this morning while sweating buckets during Bikram Yoga.
Do you consider yourself a religious person? Do you associate yourself with a religion?
What gives you comfort and inner strength – religious or not?
Please let me know any other thoughts in the comments – I’d love to hear feedback on this post!