Tag Archives: self love

My First Nantucket Weekend!

This past weekend I had the opportunity to travel to Nantucket for the island’s annual Wine Festival! I worked the Saturday afternoon Grand Tasting pouring 90+ Cellars and Ironside Cellars, but the rest of the weekend was spent tasting wine and food, exploring Nantucket’s shops and restaurants, and drinking champagne. Lots of champagne.


Jeannie and I hit the road Friday morning and JUST missed our high-speed ferry, but luckily we were able to walk onto a freight (aka slow) ferry so that we could get onto the island ASAP. Our next high-speed ferry option wouldn’t have had us on the island until about 6PM! The crew of the ship got a kick out of us for some reason and invited us up to steer the ship. Okay not actually steer, but I did get to sit in the captain’s chair and use binoculars!

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Five Things Friday: Marvelous!

My Taste of Nature bar giveaway ends tonight, and it has FIVE winners, so make sure you enter!

I missed the Marvelous In My Monday party this week but better late than never right? This week has been loads better than the last and I’m excited to link up with Clare today to share five marvelous things on Five Things Friday!

1. My workouts this week have been way better!

Thank goodness I was able to get back to my evening group fitness classes. Monday I took Danielle’s amazing spin class, and I took another pretty good spin class on Tuesday evening. Wednesday night I invited Jeannie to join me for Total Body Conditioning and I’m so glad I did because I may have copped out and done a not-as-tough StepMill workout instead if I hadn’t already committed to the class by inviting her! She was super curious since I am always talking about how tough the class is and yeah…it was tough. But we both felt great after and want to commit to going every week. I’m glad to have someone to motivate me to attend! Here’s one of the moves we did:

2. I’m proud of how well I handled Wednesday’s dinner out.

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Meh In My Monday

I know Monday is when I’m supposed to come in with a Marvelous In My Monday post and recap my marvelous weekend, negative thoughts and anxieties in all. I know I’m supposed to use MIMM posts as a way to remind myself of the marvelous in my life that I’m lucky to have – and then that’s supposed to cheer me up. But I really don’t feel like going that route today because I’m just feeling so meh. I have a lot of crap weighing on my mind, and it’s not all ED/recovery related. Instead of focusing on the marvelous to distract myself, I really just want to talk about it all and get it off my chest. So that’s what I’m going to do.

But I guess I’ll get the food/fitness stuff out of the way. My week last week was the most meh workout week I’ve had in a long time. I had work-related events going on a couple of evenings, plus Marathon Monday and plans Friday night, so the only day I was able to do an after-work gym session (which means my beloved group fitness) was Tuesday. That was great but the other days of the week were morning workouts, no classes, and by the end of the week I was just so over it. I have a hard time motivating myself without classes and getting wrapped up in anxiety about not working “hard enough” without a class only makes me feel less motivated to push myself.

Thursday I went out with coworkers after work and had an awesome time but woke up at 3AM with 1.5 hour long insomnia. When my alarm went off for the gym – another solo session – I debated for a bit and decided to say screw it. Rest day for me. Well I never went back to sleep despite the fact that I felt EXHAUSTED, which only made me feel lazy for skipping the gym. Thankfully my mood improved a bit after I skipped out on Friday afternoon wine tasting at work and also walked two miles to meet Annie for dinner (all the while phone chatting with Kaitlin).

Classy picstitch courtesy of Annie!

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Thinking Out Loud: Recovery Update

Not only has it been a couple of week since I joined Amanda‘s Thinking Out Loud Thursday link-up, but it’s also been awhile since I addressed how I’m doing (since moving to Boston) with my ongoing ED recovery journey. (If you’re new to my blog, you can read about my past and progress on my About Me.) I thought I’d go for a combo and update everyone in a random-thoughts format. But the bottom line is: It’s going pretty well!

1. I’ve found a therapist…for now at least. The person I’m seeing (we’ve had about 4 bi-weekly sessions at this point) is not nearly as helpful (so far) as my therapist in CT, but at the same time I haven’t felt as much of a “need” to see a therapist since I’m just so busy and also quite happy here, so I guess I’d call her good enough. I honestly didn’t have the energy to keep looking for someone…this person is a five minute walk from my office, so I can just pop out and see her over a lunch break and then come back. I just haven’t been getting a ton out of the appointments, except the chance to talk at someone and get feedback. Yet perhaps at this point that’s all I really need. I’m still thinking on this one.

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Marvelous Mexico!

Here I am, back after the longest blogging break I have ever taken, and another year older as well! This is my first blog post published since my vacation to Cancun and also my first as a 25 year old. But instead of separate birthday (it was this past Saturday 3/22) and vacation (it ended on my birthday) posts, I’m just going to roll them into one, because vacations and birthdays are BOTH marvelous.

Whether it’s been one week or one day, you can share your marvelous by linking up with Katie.

Marvelous was…waking up in Mexico on my birthday. Though that was the last day of our trip, I’m going to start with it because birthdays are always exciting. I’d planned to wake up before our flight back to CT and work out, but upon waking I decided to instead take advantage of my last moments of warmth and go walk on the beach. That in itself says a lot about my personal growth over the last year. I definitely had time to work out, and had plans to go out to eat that night too, but instead of doing so I really just wanted to soak up a little more sun, sand, and blue skies before boarding a plane to the land where spring will never seemingly come.

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Getting My Marvelous Priorities Straight

I am blogging today from Mexico and seriously planned for the last week to title this post “Marvelous Mexico”. But I have other stuff on my mind today because I woke up the morning of my departure with yet another illness. Seriously, I never used to get sick and this is the second time in two weeks. Has anyone else ever moved from the suburbs to the city and suddenly found themselves getting sick more often? Let’s hope this isn’t a continuing trend.

Thanks Katie for hosting this link-up every week!

Whenever I go on vacation, I like to work out first thing in the morning so I can feel less guilty about the rest of the day just laying out in the sun, going outside my food/drink box a bit more, and being fairly inactive in general. Some people like to spend their vacations exploring their surroundings and doing outdoor activities. That’s fine, but to be honest I like to sit on my butt in the sun and go out to eat.

i just couldn’t not have a drink with the rest of my family to celebrate our arrival at the hotel, but it definitely knocked me out.

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New Life, New Goals

Hey guys! I continue to be extremely busy but am trying to find time to blog where I can. The good news is my cold is already almost gone and I hope it won’t turn into a month-long cough, which is how most of my colds end up. Now I haven’t done a check-in for awhile now on the goals that I set for myself back in January (also, searching for that post made me realize I’ve made a lot of goalrelated posts, but am bad about following up on them). I’ve been having a stressful week so far, putting a lot of pressure on myself, doing a lot of future-tripping, and not getting enough sleep (not on purpose). So I think it’s time to re-visit the goals I need to focus on because to be honest, some have changed due to my recent move/job change, some are still out there, and some can take a back-seat for now.

1. My New Year’s ResolutionI’m still keeping this one and have definitely been slacking on it lately. Up until this past Sunday’s event my nails had been bare for a couple of weeks, I’d been wearing lots of sweatpants (actually the same pair, over and over…), and not making much effort to look very human. And it totally had an effect on my mood and body image. I’ve been spending time feeling bad about myself and not doing anything about it. It’s time to change that. My practically non-existent commute means I have plenty of time to get ready in the morning. Just because I’m going out for a quick walking errand doesn’t mean I can’t try to look semi-presentable. I will never ban sweatpants and Uggs completely, but they need to see less use!

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MIMM: I Did It!

I don’t exactly feel quite as cheery as this title and its exclamation point make it seem, but I still feel a hell of a lot better than I did yesterday. I can’t remember the last time I blogged on a weekend but I did yesterday, just a quick rant, because I was sitting at my laptop feeling sorry for and doubtful of myself. I set out to prove to my all-or-nothing mind that I could enjoy last night’s Super Bowl eats without going overboard, without getting too full, and also without restricting. Well I proved to myself just that, so that’s pretty marvelous.

Link up with Katie today and share your marvelous.

In terms of beverages, I decided to start with a beer I purchased a long time ago and was saving for a beer-esque evening such as Super Bowl Sunday. Plus I thought it’d be easy to sip slowly. John Henry 3-Lick Spiker Ale was recommended to me at Yankee Spirits because I shared with the sales associate that I am a bourbon lover. This beer is aged in bourbon oak chips and I adored it! I want to try some more John Henry beers now. After the beer I switched to another special something that I was motivated to sip slowly – the last of some Johnnie Walker Blue my dad had! What a marvelous guy (my dad, not Johnnie). The evening later ended with champagne…Andres, not so marvelous, but it’ll do.

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Trade ‘Em Up Tuesday: Recovery

I really enjoyed the last Trade ‘Em Up Tuesday I participated in (thanks as always Alex for the idea!) and Carly’s amazing and honest post yesterday inspired me to take a similar topic and combine it with Trade ‘Em Up. There are plenty of moments when I still find myself missing the days of my eating disorder and the various sources of the “high” it gave me. But there are also plenty of sacrifices I made that I would not want to have to make again. So today I’m going to share what I would not trade, and what I sometimes want to trade, about recovery. Please be aware that the trades are not things I plan to do or think are a good idea to do! But it helps to take the voices in my head and put them here on this blog, so I can sort out those thoughts of temptation to slip back into old habits. I would not trade…cheese and nut butter. I remember the first sandwich I ordered with cheese on it, once I started treatment. I did it so I could tell my nutritionist I had done so, and not feel like I was lying to her (except I was already lying about a bunch of other stuff). But that first bite was…heavenly. My body seriously reacted to the fat in an almost scary way…that’s how deprived I was. I ate that sandwich SO freaking slowly, savoring every last bit of the cheese, even though there wasn’t all too much on there (of course I’d asked for light on the cheese). I also used to freak out if I ate nut butter more than two days in a row, and even then only one serving was okay, measured out and all. Now I love cheese so much, more than I ever did even before my ED began. I adore trying new nut butters and think a banana almost tastes sad without one (unless Chobani is involved).

Yes it was MY idea to order this Cask Republic cheese plate a couple of weeks ago.

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Weightless Goals

Thanks so much for your words of support in response to yesterday’s post. Every comment, email, tweet, etc was read and appreciated. No matter how crappy I may feel about myself during my recovery, there are plenty of experiences in my now-fuller life that make this process and journey worth it. I may be tricked at the moment into thinking deprivation was worth the body I was happier with, but I wasn’t even satisfied with myself back then. And you will be happy to hear that this morning, I got rid of that shirt on Saturday night that caused me tears over it being too small. It may only be one article of clothing, but it’s a start. Enough of that for now, because I’m honestly a bit sick of thinking about weight and body image and pants and all that crap. That’s why when yesterday I stumbled upon a Mind Body Green article titled 10 Awesome Life Changes That Have Nothing To Do With Losing Weight, I was completely inspired to write goal-related post as if I don’t have any issues with my appearance, any anxiety about what I ate/am going to eat, or any guilt about “only” doing 20 minutes of cardio yesterday. No body-related ambitions, no diet-related wishes, no promises to cut out X or work out more. Let’s talk about something else for once! Appreciate More: I tend to focus on shortcomings and get lost in negativity. I sometimes kinda-sorta-definitely hate those people who wake up each morning saying “Man it’s great to be alive!” but at the same time while I’m feeling like Miss Grumpy Pants over their happiness, they are, well, being happy. The phrase “fake it til you make it” keeps coming to mind. For example, if I wake up on a Monday and don’t want to go to work, I can continue to work on reminding myself to appreciate the fact that I even HAVE a job. Plenty of folks out there would kill for my job even if I don’t always enjoy it. Eventually if I keep repeating that to myself (the fake it) then I think I’ll start to believe it (the make it).

This is also where my New Year’s resolution comes in. I may not be psyched about going to work, but I can try to improve my mood by setting aside time the night before to pick out a cute outfit.

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