I’m Amazing Because…

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I had a different post planned for today, but this is my blog and it’s an outlet for me, and I’ve got a lot on my mind. A LOT.

So this is what I was doing last night:

Pre-dinner snacks: beer bread, sausage, cheese, peanuts, garlic knot.

Double fisting Chardonnay.

Jeff, Kelly, and I went to the latest Chops N Catch tasting dinner. I drank a LOT of wine. I ate delicious food, some the kind I usually eat…

Grilled romaine heart with Rose’s Berry Farm raspberries, almonds, sesame vinaigrette, and Beltane Farms goat cheese.

Steamers, cod, corn on the cob, potatoes!

…and some the kind that I don’t eat every day.

Ground short rib slider topped with lobster, gruyere, lobster bisque on a brioche bun.

Warm maple bread pudding and Royal vanilla ice cream.

You hear that, brain? I don’t eat it every day. I also don’t drink a glass of wine with each plate at every dinner. However, my mind hasn’t been doing a good job of letting me believe that. From the moment I got home last night til now, I have been feeling downright AWFUL about myself. I feel guilty for having desire to attend, going to, and enjoying last night’s tasting. It’s like if I had gone and had a bad time, I’d feel BETTER right now. How shitty is that? Because I enjoyed myself last night, I feel worse today. I have this ridiculous standard I’m holding myself to. Okay, I could make every bite I put into my mouth clean. I know that’s possible. But is it reasonable? Is that any way to live my life? Is that how I want to eat? No, it’s not. Yet because I’m aware that it’s possible, I feel guilty that I don’t do it.

I was feeling ridiculously low this morning and so I called my girl Jenny and we had a good chat. I let it all out and she and I both marveled at the mean things we find our minds saying to ourselves. “You’re not good enough. You should have done this. You were wrong to even want to go out to eat in the first place.” As I said to her – I would NEVER be this mean to anyone. No one deserves to have to follow a standard of perfection. So why do I have to?!

Jenny shared with me that she was going to strive today to be kind to herself. I love the sound of that. My mind is so often very mean to me. I want to get a handle on it and make it nice. I want it to give me some props! So I decided to make a list of why I’m amazing. And I literally titled it that way. #sorrynotsorry

You know what I realized as I was making it? I couldn’t stop writing! Positive thoughts kept popping into my head – a welcome relief. I have a LOT of reasons to believe I’m amazing. Some have to do with food and working out. Most of them don’t. And all of them are the truth.

That top page has a back!

So without further ado, here’s my list. Read it if you want, but what I REALLY hope you do is make your own list. Share it with me and others! And keep it in a place where you’ll have it often (I’m going to put mine in my purse) so that you can not only refer to it whenever you’re feeling down on yourself, but ADD to it as well! Because let’s face it, you’re not going to realize every reason why you’re amazing in one sitting. There are too many reasons for that to be possible 🙂

Caitlin Is Amazing Because:

  1. I have the best family in the world.
  2. I have a full-time job and had two on lockdown before I even graduated – in a crappy economy.
  3. I have wonderful, close friends and also many new friends I’ve met since 2011.
  4. I’m over my ex-boyfriend and have truly learned so much from that relationship.
  5. I adore healthy foods and eat them regularly because I enjoy it.
  6. I love certain workouts, move each day, and enjoy it.
  7. I have a blog that is only growing in readers, is seen as a marketing tool by brands and Fitfluential, and inspires others.
  8. I’m incredibly organized and enjoy being that way. It comes naturally to me!
  9. I’m look at by friends, readers, and my family as a role model in many areas.
  10. I dress well and have a good sense of style.
  11. I’m hygienic (I floss!)
  12. I get a good night’s sleep most nights.
  13. I have way more good habits than bad.
  14. I enjoy writing!
  15. I relieve stress in positive ways like coloring, exercise, NPR, doing laundry…
  16. I’ve never smoked or done drugs.
  17. I read!
  18. I go to school for part-time for free, though I could easily just have decided not to start my MBA yet.
  19. I listen to NPR and truly enjoy learning about the world through that tool.
  20. I keep my room, car, work area, and the bathroom clean.
  21. I ‘ve been more honest about my rocky relationship with food and exercise on the blog.
  22. I change out my contacts and their solution when it’s time to do so.
  23. I sought mental help for an ED on my own, without anyone forcing me to do so.
  24. I only drink one cup of coffee per day (and hence don’t struggle with caffeine headaches like I used to).
  25. I save 50% of each and every paycheck, without fail, and have been doing so for the last two years at every job. As a result, I have way more saved than most 23 year olds!
  26. I like living at home and do so while still trying to be as independent as possible. And I’m saving a bundle!
  27. I really, truly want to and care about getting closer to and bettering my relationship with my little brother. I could just as easily shrug off the distance between us.
  28. I have 0 credit card debt. Or any debt.
  29. I am thrifty when I can be (Coupon Caitlin).
  30. I’m adventurous with food and drinks.
  31. I stay in touch with friends even when they don’t live near me.
  32. I can run an 8 minute mile.
  33. I ran 8 miles without stopping once.
  34. I appreciate my grandparents
  35. I’m open-minded about movies, music, and books.
  36. I’m pretty.
  37. I have nice hair – a bit wavy and easy to style.
  38. I like how every part of my body looks (right now…worrying about the future is a work in progress).
  39. I don’t gamble more than $20 at the casino.
  40. I’m taking initiative and I wrote this list.
You’ll notice that anything about  my outward appearance truly didn’t pop into my head until #36. Yet I spend so much time worrying about how the choices I make will affect it. Do you see a disconnection there? Try making your own list – you’ll be amazed at these kinds of “revelations” that it will bring about.

How do you practice self love? What’s on your list of why you’re amazing? Comment and tell me or better yet – show me on Instagram or Twitter with the hashtag #AmazingMe!

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