Letting Go of Old Clothes

It has been quite awhile since I wrote a post related to eating disorders and recovery. There was a time when that was almost all I wrote about here; a time when I was really struggling. Slowly after moving to Boston I began to do better and better, and the recovery related posts became less frequent. Particularly since this past summer, I have made lots of progress. I’ve taken more rest days than ever and realized that didn’t make me gain 50 pounds. I’ve been able to spend more time with friends and meet new people too, since I’ve been doing less hiding out in my apartment with my “safe foods”. I’ve even been able to let myself open up to someone and enter a serious relationship.

Jeff and I are actually moving in together over Memorial Day Weekend, and moving often presents a perfect opportunity to get rid of unwanted and unneeded possessions. Most notably, clothes. Many who have gone through recovery from an eating disorder will know that clothes are a touchy subject. They become too small, and that’s hard to deal with. Every article of clothing that will no longer fit still makes me feel like a bit of a failure, even if that feeling lasts just a few seconds. I have been holding onto these clothes, because setting them aside to donate makes me feel like I am giving up on being as small as I once was.

But moving in with Jeff and taking the next step in our relationship is a sign of how far I have come. I’m ready to leave those clothes behind. The fact that he and I are even at this point is because I was able to put myself out there and go out to eat on dates more often than I was used to. I was able to decide, screw it, I’m not going to the gym because I’m going to lay in bed all day with someone. I am going to spend time with someone instead of hiding out in my apartment – or even invite him into my apartment. I am going to let myself lose control a little bit and fall in love.

The person who fit into those clothes would never have been able to do all of that.

Bye to this child's size workout top.

Bye to this child’s size workout top.

Bye to this shirt.

Bye to this shirt (and wtf with my hoop earrings).

Bye to these shorts (but hello to this awesome llama).

Bye to these shorts (but hello to this awesome llama).

Bye to this dress (but clearly the wine love has always been there).

Bye to this dress (but clearly the wine love has always been there).

It felt so easy this week to put the clothes into these trash bags. I haven’t worn them in months. I don’t want to wear them again. I’m happy. I’m about to start a new chapter of my life. There is no place in that chapter for my old clothes.

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Not even half of the clothes I have collected over this past week.

Plus now, there’s space in my future-closet for new clothes! So, that’s always a good thing.

Have you ever struggled with letting go of something that was part of a previous chapter of your life?

Journey to Western Mass: Part 2

Did you miss part one of my recap? Click here to read! Also, for any of my readers who live in Boston and love fitness, I’m hosting an Instagram giveaway for two tickets to the Jimmy Fund Fit Fest taking place this Saturday on the Esplanade. Enter here!

When I last left off, my boyfriend Jeff and I were convening with our friends Matt and Dave in the lobby of the Hotel Northampton for dinner. One of the best parts about our trip was the fact that our hotel was located right in the center of town, and we could walk everywhere! We took a short stroll to Bistro Les Gras, a farm to table restaurant with menus that change daily. First we got a round of appetizers, including a fantastic steak tartare.

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Three out of four of us went with the burger as our entree, thanks to recommendations from many locals we’d talk to throughout the day. The burger lived up to its reputation, and its flavor made it obvious that it was ground in-house.

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Journey to Western Mass: Part 1

Back when I lived in Connecticut, I lived less than an hour from Western Massachusetts, yet never bothered to explore the area. After this past weekend, I’m definitely regretting that. The Hampshire County Tourism Board sent me, my boyfriend Jeff, and my friends/amazing couple Matt and Dave on a fantastic weekend trip to Western Mass, and I’m already wondering when I can return!

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Jeff and I hit the road Saturday morning and enjoyed an easy ride out west, where we met Matt and Dave. Our first stop was Mineral Hills Winery in Florence, MA. There we met with the owner, Larry Goddard. He showed us an absolutely incredible time that, as Jeff put it, “ruined wine tastings for him forever”. That’s a good thing – it means we really got the VIP treatment!

Larry greeted us with tastes of May Wine, which is a German beverage traditionally served on May Day.

Larry greeted us with tastes of May Wine, which is a German beverage traditionally served on May Day.

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Pub Run with True Runner

This post is sponsored by Vocalpoint and True Runner. All opinions are my own.

I was recently invited by True Runner, an athletic retailer in The Shoppes at Chestnut Hill, to participate in one of their community running events. The second I heard the words “Pub Run”, I was interested. A workout followed by pizza and beer has my name written all over it!

True Runner was kind enough to send me some cool socks and a really comfy tech tee for the run! But obviously I also needed a bottom component so I headed to the Chestnut Hill store to browse for just that.

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A Florida Birthday

March 22nd was my 27th birthday and I truly felt like the celebrations lasted for days and days. Jeff took me out for a great birthday dinner in Boston the Friday before, and I also visited one of my favorite bars with a ton of friends for an epic night out on Saturday. But I spent my actual birthday in Orlando, Florida with my family and Jeff.

No Florida birthday is complete without Publix cake, or a heavy dose of Lilly Pulitzer. My brother and sister gifted me a Lilly wine tote and stemless wine glasses, and my family gifted me my favorite white cake with white icing.

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ClassPass to Cocktails

Oops…I went MIA for awhile there. Sorry about that! Those who follow me on Instagram already know that I just returned from a trip to Orlando, FL with my family and boyfriend. I’ll be posting a vacation recap soon, but it already seems so far away given all that I have coming up in Boston this week!

For awhile now, ClassPass has been taunting me with an intro offer of $19 for two-weeks of unlimited classes. I just have been waiting for a period of time to come along with no trips, even short ones, before I activated those two weeks. Well that time is finally here and I’m already addicted! I’ve been taking more days off from the gym and eating/drinking more than ever simultaneously. This has led to me gaining weight and not feeling good about myself at all. I figured ClassPass would be the motivation I needed to work out each day, and so far I’ve been right. I love researching and finding new classes, or classes that I already know I love but at studios I don’t have memberships to. So far I’ve taken Flywheel and Cyc, and have Recycle Studio, Barry’s Bootcamp, and a kickboxing class lined up for the next few days. I don’t remember the last time I felt this psyched for working out!

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Weekend Getaway in Cape Cod

Back toward the end of last year, I spotted a Gilt City deal for the Ocean Edge Resort in Brewster, MA – on Cape Cod. I thought an off-season getaway with my boyfriend Jeff would be a great way to break up the long winter and booked a room using the deal for this past Saturday (February 20th). During booking, I wondered if we’d end up with a snowy and frigid weekend. Certainly the opposite happened – the weekend was sunny and the temperatures mild. We really lucked out!

Our favorite part of any hotel is a nice fuzzy bathrobe!

Unfortunately we did not luck out in the realm of resort patrons…and timing with February school break! The Ocean Edge was CRAWLING with kids. It didn’t seem we could escape them; visits to the restaurant on-site at both 5:30PM and 9PM proved that there was no ideal time to dine, as at both hours almost every table had a child sitting at it. I love my friends’ kids, but other than that I am not a kid person. So after a quick dinner, we ended up hiding in our room for most of the night, aside from a quick dip in the hot tub. But it’s OK – we had bathrobes, lots of channels to watch, and plenty of bubbles. Plus the room was really nice! I just don’t think I’ll be staying at the Ocean Edge again, or recommending it to anyone unless they have kids.

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Valentine’s Day Weekend in Boston

Usually I just look at Valentine’s Day as an annoyance, since the holiday makes restaurants extra busy. But this year I actually had a Valentine to celebrate with, and I do love indulging a cheesy holiday when appropriate, so I didn’t mind the crowded restaurants. I just made sure to make a reservation!

Red Hook and Manhattan. (Photo by Jeff)

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Thinking Out Loud: Still a Thing

It’s been so long since I did a Thinking Out Loud post that I wasn’t even sure if Amanda’s link-up was still a thing. But I had no overall theme for a post today, just random stuff, so I thought I’d check. Sure enough, Thinking Out Loud Thursdays are still going strong, so that’s what you get today.

I did something I never thought I’d do: start wearing a Fitbit. It was gifted to me by a friend and I figured, why not give this a shot? I normally make a point of avoiding numbers. I don’t look at nutrition labels, I cover up the torque and RPM in Flywheel, and I’ve never had interest in wearing a heart rate monitor during my workouts. But I’ve also been doing a good job ignoring numbers when they are put right in front of me (like when I housed Shake Shack last weekend despite the calorie counts blatantly being posted on the menu board). So I set it up last week.

So far I like wearing it. I do feel a little guilty when I don’t hit my step goal, but to be honest, the Fitbit Flex is not that accurate when it comes to tracking overall activity. For example I wore it during a CorePower Yoga Sculpt class, which is one of the hardest workouts I have EVER done, and afterward the app stated I’d only been active 19 minutes. Excuse me? That was an hour long workout in a 96 degree room. I may not have hit my step goal that day, but I know and am confident that I definitely hit my own personal activity goal, and did not let numbers tell me otherwise. It is fun though to try to hit step goals or just realize how many steps it takes for me to take normal routes, like from work to home.

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Friday February Check-In

It’s been a week since I shared my two goals for February – not drinking when I stay in and blow-drying my hair once a week – and I thought I’d check in on this Friday to share how that’s going so far.

It’s…kind of going!

Monday night went well. After an hour of spin class I really wanted to reward myself with a glass or five of wine, but cooking dinner was the perfect distraction. Once Jeff and I sat down and started eating, we totally forgot about having a drink. Oh, and Courtney’s Spaghetti Pie turned out awesome, though more like a casserole since I didn’t have a pie dish to use. I highly recommend this recipe!

It also helped that we had a fun event to look for on Tuesday night – a pop-up at the fabulous Envoy Hotel in Boston’s Seaport, to raise money for the New England Center & Home for Veterans and promote the food and drink of Envoy’s restaurant, Outlook Kitchen & Bar.

The champagne was so good! I didn’t even bother with cocktails; just stuck to the bubbles.

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