Love From Ed
I woke up this morning in a stinker of a mood and had no idea what to blog about or if I’d blog. I was up in the middle of the night throwing up last night thanks to a stomach bug and did not sleep well at all. I still felt extremely nauseous and also very exhausted when my alarm went off for work but I felt a bit better once I got out of bed and moved around, so I sucked it up and made the drive.
Typically, most of my thoughts during the commute were not centered around hoping that I would feel better soon, but around worrying how feeling sick would affect my eats and exercise. Would I be able to go to the gym today? I attended a cocktail class with food pairings last night at Barcelona in West Hartford, and had NOT planned on not being able to get in some cardio after work. I was regretting doing Group Power yesterday instead of a cardio workout. I wondered if I’d be able to eat my fruits and veggies or if I’d “have” to eat carbs, which would make my stomach feel better. A lot of future tripping, putting high standards on myself, being unkind when I already was feeling crappy enough. Eating disorder thoughts abound. I was getting multiple visits from ED and future tripping like crazy.
I debated whether or not I should grab a coffee at my usual pre-work stop, Peaberry’s, and decided to do decaf in case I developed a taste for it at any point during the day. As I approached the entrance I noticed a fellow regular doing the same – an elderly gentleman with a cane. Every morning he sits with a bunch of other men at a few tables pulled together, and by now we are all at the point where I have introduced myself to and chatted with a few of them, I wave when I come in, and we even have an inside joke or two!
I held the door and offered to let him go ahead and order his coffee. He said thank you and then asked what I was having – the same as him, a short decaf. Then he paid for my coffee! I instantly felt a warmth come over me and I swear that much of my nausea, which was probably being worsened by my anxious thoughts, disappeared.
I thanked him and after realizing I’d never introduced myself, did just that and asked for his name. He smiled at me and said, “Nice to meet you Caitlin, I’m Ed. You’re a bright part of our day every morning when you walk in here, so thank you.” I thanked HIM for brightening MY day, and waved goodbye to him and the rest of the “regulars”. Ed’s random act of kindness was just the medicine I needed to get me going to work with a more positive attitude and a brighter outlook on my day.
I left Peaberry’s and resumed the commute; after a couple minutes of reflecting on the experience as I drove, I realized the significance of the message I was receiving, a message that had come from a man named Ed. Previously one ED was telling me I was worthless and didn’t deserve to hope to feel better because I went out last night and had a great time.
Then this Ed walked into my life, patted me on the back, and gave me a pick-me-up. He showed me love and appreciation and lifted me up above the place the other ED brought me down to. I really can’t think of better timing for me to meet Ed this morning; the fact that he bought my coffee today when I felt both mentally AND physically weak is no coincidence.
It wouldn’t be right for me to take this gift I’ve been given – this miracle – and ignore it. So I’m not going to. I’m going to keep fighting to kick ED to the curb, because why do I need to listen to such a mean voice when there’s more kind voices out there right before my eyes?! I just had to share this story and my experience with this little thing meaning a lot of BIG things to me today.
When was the last time someone showed you a random act of kindness?
Do you believe these kinds of things happen for a reason?